The Deported's Tips on Immigration: Lesson Three - Finding the File

Legal Warning: Please be advised that dealing with immigration issues may result in the overwhelming desire to bash your head, repeatedly, into the wall, into the desk, into the computer ...

It is now 14 days A.D. (after deportation) and I have quite the headache.

Until yesterday, I was operating under the delusion that my papiers would be straightened out and I would be back in Belgium by the end of June. (To get to this world, take a right at the unicorn and then hang a left at the leprechaun.) Reality crashed into my parallel immigration universe when I opened and read the latest "status" email from my relocation expert in Brussels. He was following up with the Ministry to find out the progress of my application. (Drumroll, please.)

"It seems that ... your file was still in the queue, waiting to be sorted, or lost !!!"

My file is now being re-copied and re-re-re-submitted in Brussels. (The odds on the LA file have just increased tenfold.) Hopefully, this time they will install some sort of GPS device on the file. I can hear it in my head: "Follow the hallway. Right turn ahead. Now, turn right. In 50 meters, take the second left and then diagonally left. If at all possible, make a legal u-turn. You have arrived at your destination."