Friday, November 25, 2005

The Turkey Revealed --- I'm No Plucker!

Once Dan got home on Thursday evening, we unwrapped our brown bag to see what exactly $36.56 can buy you in terms of turkey. I'm happy to report that we have a 4 pound turkey, with no head, no feet, and no wings. Unfortunately, it did come with hundreds of little white feathers all over it! (Don't know if the photo does it justice, but they are everywhere!)

So, as you can imagine, the big issue now is how to get rid of turkey feathers. Dan's first suggestion was for me to pluck it. While this was NEVER a viable option, I did, for one insane moment, contemplate what my future would be like if, in fact, I took to plucking the dinde. For some inexplicably reason, my mind flashed to the scene in Far and Away where Tom Cruise says, "That Shannon, she's a corker!". But, instead of Tom Cruise, in my mind's eye, I saw Dan, drunk on Belgium beer, telling all our friends, "That Cindy, she's a plucker!" Since I am most definitely not a plucker, there has to be a better way.

Because it was late, cold, and raining, running to the Cheese Shop was not an option. So, I called my daddy for sagely wisdom on the de-feathering of fowl. His advice --- "burn 'em off." For someone that is not a cook, using the word "burn" as a means of food preparation, rather than as a description of the finished product, is a concept completely foreign to me. How exactly does one go about burning a turkey on purpose?

For what will probably be the first and only time in my life, I thought to myself, I wish I had one of those torches from William-Sonoma. Before now, I never knew what they were used for, although I always suspected it had something to do with meth addictions by Martha Stewart wantabes. (And to think everyone thought she was in prison for SEC violations!) Once again, in the pioneer state in which I am living (by this, I mean no car, no cell phone, no microwave, no mixer, no meth torch), I will have to compensate. So, tonight, armed solely with a candle lighter, I will, hopefully, for the only time, burn my first turkey.

Bottom line -- It is now Friday evening, and Dan and I still don't know what we are going to eat for Thanksgiving dinner (which has now been postponed to Saturday night due to turkey difficulties)!

© 2005 Cindy Lane. All rights reserved.


Blogger Sunshine in San Diego said...

Ok, since your "turkey" feast was postponed, what DID you eat on Thanksgiving? I cannot believe you had to pay $36.56 (or, $9.14 per pound) for a 4-pound turkey. I spent 99-cents a pound for mine and I thought that was bad! Now if only you had children, you could wear the title of Mother Plucker!

Linda D.

4:51 PM  
Blogger Cindy Lane said...

Dan and I ate the most expensive, and quite possibly, the freshest turkey (even counting the days it sat in the refrig waiting to be de-feathered) we have ever eaten. I was able to cook it until it was completely dry!!! Oh well, live and learn.

5:44 PM  

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